“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” — Ephesians 5:1-2, NIV
You’re standing in a group of friends (maybe even at church), and the conversation starts to shift to that couple who might be headed toward divorce (because someone heard he slept on the couch 4 nights last week or she hasn’t posted him on Facebook in months!), or the guy to your left throws in a “that’s what she said” joke, or you find yourself complaining about your spouse, job, kids, neighbors, etc. Unless you are Jesus himself, you have likely found yourself in similar scenarios.
Recently, as I read Ephesians 5, the Holy Spirit gave me that familiar, gentle nudge, telling me I should probably pay close attention. In verse 4, Paul specifically warns against obscenity, foolish talk, and coarse joking. Coarse joking? What a small, ostensibly insignificant thing. That really made me pause—how often do we let things like that slip by without noticing, let alone giving them a second thought?
Honestly, it wasn’t just the joking that convicted me. Over the next few days, I began thinking about all the seemingly little things we have become so accustomed to that we may hardly recognize them as sin anymore. I became increasingly convicted as I sought out more “little things” like this in the Bible.
As I have grown in my knowledge of Scripture and understanding of the Lord, I have started noticing that slight nudge of discomfort from the Holy Spirit in moments I would not have thought twice about before. Sometimes it is something I’ve said in a conversation (or text), a joke I’ve laughed at (or made), a bit of gossip I’ve entertained, or an attitude I’ve let take root (ouch). Sometimes it’s even a comment of mine that borders on slander, a moment of unnecessary anger, or a posture of complaint and grumbling.
These “moments” are not dramatic at all. They don’t necessarily always stand out to the people around me. But they are becoming enough to make me stop and recognize that something about my words, actions, or attitudes isn’t aligned with the heart of God.
Ephesians 4:30 tells us not to “grieve the Holy Spirit.” Interestingly, the surrounding verses address things like unwholesome speech, bitterness, anger, slander, lack of kindness, and unforgiveness. These aren’t just suggestions for being a “good” person. Our everyday words, attitudes, and actions clearly matter to God.
Isn’t it sneaky how quickly we can justify these things? It’s just a joke. I’m just venting. I didn’t mean anything by it. Everyone does it. It’s not that big of a deal. Oh, you’re just sensitive. Well, it’s true! And so on…
The more time I spend in God’s Word, asking him to transform my heart, the more I realize how much he has to say about things we carelessly dismiss. Here are a few examples—see if you resonate with any…
Crude humor and foolish talk: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4, NIV).
Cruel pranks, deception, and lying for a laugh: “Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!’” (Proverbs 26:18-19, NIV).
Gossip and stirring up drama: “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28, NIV). “And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:13b, NIV).
Complaining, arguing, and false flattery: “Do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Philippians 2:14, NIV). “These people are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage” (Jude 1:16, NIV).
Greed and materialism: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3, NIV). “Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions’” (Luke 12:15, NIV).
Anger, bitterness, and resentment: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:31, NIV).
Careless or unwholesome speech: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV).
Pride and selfish ambition: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NIV).
Knowing what is right and choosing not to do it: “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is a sin for them” (James 4:17, NIV).
Does anything stick out?
And that is hardly an exhaustive list! Sin doesn’t become harmless just because we have learned to make it sound harmless. Sin is sin.
Now, the point of all this isn’t to leave you buried in shame or guilt. We are not perfect; we all sin, and we will keep falling short until eternity. That is precisely why we need a Savior! But recognizing our need for grace doesn’t mean becoming comfortable with the very sins Christ came to save us from.
The point is that we need to recognize how subtle sin can be and how easily we can “dip a toe” into the things of this world without realizing that what we’ve begun to tolerate is sin—or that these seemingly “little” compromises are affecting our fellowship with God.
One of the easiest ways these little compromises creep into our lives is through the company we keep. We don’t always notice the changes. Sometimes we just become more and more comfortable with the conversations, attitudes, and behaviors of the people around us until we begin participating without a second thought. We honestly may even try to justify our transforming character (and we may even use “Christianity” to do so).
But Scripture repeatedly warns us about this! “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). Proverbs 13:20 says walking with the wise makes us wise; Proverbs 22:24-25 warns that we can learn the ways of those who are easily angered; and Psalm 1:1-2 contrasts following the counsel of the wicked with delighting in the law of the Lord.
We must pay attention to whose voices influence us, whose attitudes we adopt, and what behaviors we excuse merely because they are common around us.
I think an incredibly sneaky one here is complaining or negativity. It is so easy to just jump in and “vent” or commiserate with others. When we consistently surround ourselves with negative people, or let these “vent sessions” become the norm, we naturally begin adopting the attitudes without even realizing it. It may happen slowly, one comment at a time. But that’s exactly how sin snowballs. Before we know it, we are Miss Negative Nellie ourselves, and we have a whole group joining in our complaints.
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want” (Galatians 5:16-17, NIV).
We cannot overcome our flesh through sheer willpower alone. James 1:14-15 explains how temptation grows from our fleshly desires and eventually gives birth to sin. We must continually surrender ourselves to the Holy Spirit, allowing him to convict, correct, and transform us. That means learning to recognize those gentle nudges instead of brushing them off as indigestion or a weird “vibe.”
It also means we must know the Word of God! Not just enough to recognize the “neon sign” sins (you know the ones), but well enough to recognize the subtle compromises that don’t align with God’s character. Hebrews 5:14 describes people who, through “constant use,” have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Ephesians 6 walks us through the full armor of God so that we can stand against the devil’s schemes.
The enemy doesn’t need every temptation to look like a dramatic act of rebellion. Most of the time, convincing us that something is just a little compromise is enough.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).
Guarding our hearts requires paying attention to the daily choices that may pull us away from God. David’s prayer in Psalm 139:23-24, asking God to search his heart, test his thoughts, reveal anything offensive within him, and lead him, is a prayer worth making regularly.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be so accustomed to the things of this world that I don’t recognize when my words, actions, or attitudes contradict the heart of God. I don’t want to be so comfortable justifying the little things that I ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit
Ultimately, the standard isn’t how much of the world we can “get away with” resembling—it’s how faithfully we are becoming like Christ.
We are called to live as the set-apart children of God. Sometimes that means living set apart from others who claim to know Christ. We can’t be set apart if we keep allowing the little things to make us indistinguishable from the world we live in. God cares about the “little things,” so we should too.
bytaylormcgee
