“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night.” — Psalm 1:1-2 (NIV).
Most of us probably grew up hearing our parents talk about choosing our friends “wisely.” Most of us also probably rolled our eyes at the sentiment and went about being friends with whomever we pleased.
Turns out, our parents may have been speaking the truth! (shocking, I know — mom is usually right)
The Bible is actually very clear about the company we keep and the counsel we receive. It repeatedly warns against adopting the sinful patterns of the world through close association with unrighteous influences.
Have you ever found yourself suddenly using a phrase or word you didn’t use before just because a close friend says it all the time? You unconsciously adopted their language or behavior just by being around them. It happens so naturally that we often don’t even notice. Well, we can apply that same idea to our attitudes, values, habits, and even our obedience to God.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful” (Psalm 1:1, NKJV).
Psalm 1:1-2 shows us the natural progression that can happen when we’re not careful about the company we keep. Notice the movement from walking to standing to ultimately sitting in the company of mockers (the scornful in NKJV). What starts as casually strolling alongside certain influences can gradually become stopping and standing in agreement with them and eventually settling comfortably among them.
Isn’t that exactly how compromise works? Rarely do we wake up one morning and just decide to completely abandon our convictions and beliefs. As we discussed yesterday, more often it’s a series of little decisions, compromises, and influences that slowly pull us away.
I love the NKJV wording of Psalm 1:1—we are warned not to even entertain the counsel (advice) of the ungodly. Think about that! Why would we allow people who aren’t seeking the Lord to influence our decisions about how to follow him? If we are seeking different things, living by different convictions, and ultimately pursuing different purposes in life, we have to be careful about whose advice we allow to shape us. That doesn’t mean we can’t listen to or learn from people who don’t share our faith, but we cannot allow counsel that contradicts God’s Word to guide our ultimate obedience to him.
We have all heard the stories about the “good kid” who got caught up with the “wrong crowd.” Well, adults are not immune to those same influences!
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV).
Proverbs 13:20 teaches us to “walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (NIV). Proverbs 22:24-25 specifically warns against close association with hot-tempered or easily angered people because we “may learn their ways” and “get ensnared” (NIV). The people around us shape us. Our families, friends, coworkers, mentors, and communities all influence how we think, speak, and behave. So we should be especially intentional about the people we allow to influence our walk with God.
I can hear your brains turning now — Wasn’t Jesus a friend of sinners? Didn’t he spend time with people who were living ungodly lives?
Short answer: yes! I mean, let’s be real, Jesus couldn’t help but be surrounded by sinners because we are all sinners! That’s exactly why he came. Jesus welcomed the tax collectors, ate with sinners, showed compassion to the outcasts, and extended grace to those society had written off. He didn’t treat people as projects or refuse to associate with those who needed him most. In fact, people criticized him for all of this (Luke 15:1-2).
But here is the distinction: Jesus was a friend to sinners, but that didn’t necessarily mean they were his friends. Yes, he welcomed them, ate with them, loved them, and spoke the truth to them. But he didn’t stay in their company for friendship or approval. When people rejected his message, he continued on his way, carrying out his Father’s business (Luke 9:51-56; Mark 6:11).
Jesus didn’t compromise his obedience to the Father to maintain relationships with those unwilling to follow him. He was clear about the kind of friendship rooted in following him: “You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:14, NIV). Jesus extended love and compassion to everyone, but the close fellowship he described with his disciples was rooted in following him and obeying his commands.
Unlike Jesus, we have a fallen nature. We are susceptible to temptation, peer pressure, and the gradual influence of the people closest to us. We cannot assume that we will always be the one doing the influencing…
The people we surround ourselves with don’t just influence what we do; they can gradually influence who we become.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NIV)
We often hear this passage applied to marriage, but its warning about binding ourselves to incompatible spiritual commitments extends far beyond our romantic relationships! Think about what it means to be yoked—two animals joined by a yoke are connected, carrying a load and moving together. If they are constantly pulling in different directions, something eventually has to give.
I think we have to ask ourselves whether some of our closest relationships are keeping us from the direction God wants us to go. Have we become so closely yoked to people with different priorities and convictions that, without even realizing it, we’re constantly pulling against the very relationships we’ve bound ourselves to?
That doesn’t mean we cannot have meaningful relationships with unbelievers, nor does it mean every relationship with someone who disagrees with us is dangerous. We are called to love people and share the gospel. But we must be discerning about the influence we give others over our decisions, convictions, and obedience. Even the subconscious influence.
“But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, ‘In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.’ These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.” (Jude 1:17-19, NIV).
Friends, remember we live in a spiritual battle, and the enemy can use even ordinary relationships and influences to tempt us toward compromise. It can be a slippery slope, and we may not recognize we’ve drifted until we’re already comfortable with things we once knew we should avoid.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).
Guarding our hearts means being intentional about who influences them. Sometimes, that means recognizing that certain relationships may need to change. 2 Corinthians 5:17 reminds us that we are new creations in Christ. As we grow in our relationship with him, we may find that some relationships, habits, and environments no longer help us walk in obedience.
That doesn’t mean we stop loving people. It just means we can't let our desire to maintain a friendship, fit in, try to “save,” or avoid uncomfortable things become more important than our relationship with, and obedience to, God.
We want to be people who love as Jesus did, who welcome others with compassion, and extend grace freely. But we also have to be careful about who we allow to shape our hearts and influence our walk with the Lord.
We are called to be a light in the world, not to allow the world to dim the light within us.
We need to be willing to examine our closest relationships and honestly consider whether they are encouraging our obedience to God or making it easier for us to compromise.
So let’s be mindful of the company we keep. Let’s surround ourselves with people who encourage us toward Christ, challenge us when we may be compromising, and help us grow in wisdom and obedience. And let’s make sure that in our efforts to be accepted by the people around us, we aren’t slowly becoming less like the One we’re called to follow.
bytaylormcgee
